Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Rescue Me: Blue Streak

The Scourge of the Underworld: if there's a lame-ass villain, he'll lamely assassinate him! Blue Streak: an evil rollerskating spy who dresses alternately like Evel Knievel or an immunodeficient baseball umpire! Their paths pretty much had to cross one day, huh? And so they did (in "Captain America" #318) when Blue Streak was forced to hitch-hike. (Lame!) And who, disguised as a trucker, offered him a ride? No, not me! Have you been paying attention at all?! Criminy.

So that was the end of Blue Streak, exactly one-hundred-and-one issues of "Captain America" after he was introduced. But did Blue Streak deserve to die? That's a rhetorical question, natch. You already know my answer. Which is "No, he didn't. Because there are no lame characters; there are only lame writers." I think the idea of an evil rollerskating spy is just dandy in the proper context. And "Captain America" is not the proper context. "Rocky and Bullwinkle"? You bet! I think Blue Streak's basic concept just needed a little tweaking to make him a decent Captain America villain. Get rid of the roller skates and just concentrate on his being a super-fast evil spy and "wham-bam, thank you, Weight Wizard" you have a great start.

Blue Streak was a redheaded guy, real name unknown, who got his superpowers from technology. First it was just a pair of amped-up skates. Then he upgraded to better skates, a suit that protected him from friction burns (quiet, Scipio), a laser, and caltrops (spiked jacks). Which was fine, sort of, except he was still getting around on skates and the new suit didn't look any cooler. It just looked differently goofy. I say he could have upgraded again to the comic book science equivalent of "a wizard did it": nanites! Sure, why not? I think he could have used nano-robots to bestow super-speed upon himself, along with a fancy blue frictionless "skin." And since he was a redhead, maybe he had some Celts in his family history. So maybe his villainous look could have been based on the blue-painted Celtic warriors who fought the Romans! If I recall correctly, the Celts also did something to their hair to make it spikier and more horrifying. (And a lot of them had big mustaches, which isn't necessarily scary but I thought I'd better point it out before I showed you the picture.) So Blue Streak could have resembled a stylized Blue Celt.

bluestreakrevision


The tattoos could glow, if you're into that sort of thing. And the facial tattoos symbolizing a mustache and eyebrows (y'know, like Little Richard has) are meant to be Kirbyesque. With the hair, it makes him look more than a little like Lobo. Which wasn't on purpose, since I honestly can't stand Lobo. Of course, I was well into this design before I realized that blue + spiky hair + really fast = Sonic the Hedgehog. So what, I say. SO WHAT! Er, anyway, his weapons could have been replicas of a Celtic spear and shield ('cause he was a Cap villain) that were made of energy. And for a power limitation, maybe he could only have manifested the spear and shield when he wasn't accessing his superspeed. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Previous "Rescue Me" challenges:

12 comments:

Justin Garrett Blum said...

This is awesome. Looks like something off of an ancient urn or something. I totally dig it.

Kevin Lighton said...

First it was just a pair of amped-up skates.

Actually, I remember his first skates having just one wheel each, as if he'd stuck the wheels from a jet-propelled office chair onto the soles of his boots.

And I think the blue Celts were the Picts.

Dave said...

Well, you Pict an unusual way to revamp this guy.

Umm, yeah.

Here's another take: make him a super-streaker. His costume: three tube socks, a pair of sneakers, and a batch of blue goop that insulates against time and friction, slowing things down relative to the Blue Streak for a few hours.

He may not be the most subtle spy -- but he's effective, especially as a distraction...

Blockade Boy said...

Justin: Thanks! I often find myself going for a William Blake vibe when I draw... only my figures are flabbier and less anatomically accurate.

Kevin: I know his original boots had one wheel apiece. I just figured boot + wheel = rollerskate. It was the simplest way to describe it. Thanks for finding me a specific term for the Blue Celts -- which is a term I got on the internet, so you know it's correct! ; )>

Dave: So you're saying the Blue Streaker rubs his theft in your face?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I like the idea of the nanotech as in a layer of them produce a frictionless surface between him and his environment. Nano was being overused for a while, I think, but it's poised to make a comeback!

MaGnUs said...

I like the dseign, but I liked the white disco suit better. He was the male Dazzler!

Blockade Boy said...

Jon: Yeah, nano is classic. It always comes back in style!

MaGnUs: Holy shit, you're right! If only he could have reformed, maybe he could have paired up with her instead of Longshot and saved us from those X-Babies comics.

Anonymous said...

I kind of liked Blue Streak's second costume. It was very practical for a guy who moves at incredible speeds. It had an air supply and padding, things that super-fast characters normally do not have to bother with. The phrase "immunodeficient baseball umpire" made me chuckle, however.

Streak's due for a comeback. I would love to see a cross-company battle between him and Roller Skate Man. Heck, throw in Rocket Racer, Night Thrasher, Silver Surfer, Black Racer, and Scarlet Skier while we're at it. It would be OFF THE HOOK!

Blockade Boy said...

You're totally right... that would RAWK. It would also make a killer Xbox 360 game.

MaGnUs said...

BB: How about Blue Streak hooking up with Longshot? I always thought he played for the other team, you know, your team. And not the LSH...

And that video game should also include Rocket Raccoon. I know shit jack about Rocket Raccoon, but his name is ROCKET RACCOON people, ROCKET RACCOON!

Blockade Boy said...

Longshot? I'm not sure. I'd have to mullet over. *rimshot*

MaGnUs said...

Badum badum pssssss!