Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Extreme Blockadeover: Ed Novak

Ah, another missive for me from the 21st Century! This one is from an "Ed Novak" but after that "Loren Lassiter" business (I'm still not convinced, "Loren") I'm treating the name of every new correspondent as a puzzle that must be solved! For example, I see that "Ed Novak" is an anagram for "Oak Vend." Huh. ...Yeah, I got nothin'. I'll have to file that one away for later. You've won this round, "Ed." Go ahead and show me your wares. Speak to me from the dusty eons of yore!
Well, seein' as MaGnUs has managed to prove that an interesting costume can be done with HeroMachine, I've decided to put my limited skills to the test. Hope you think this is as cool as I do!
Yeah. Me too.


Huh. Well, I--
Don't eliminate him yet!
How's about you don't tell me what to do, Mr. Vend or whoever you really are? *grumbles*
Your chest is mostly naked beneath the cowl, including your diamond cutters. The purple leotard ends in a sort of triangular point beneath the cape (y'know, I could probably just make a version without the sec. There we go.) I know you'd prefer your chest exposed at all times, but check this out -- you can show it off whenever you want...WITH A DRAMATIC CAPE FLIP! You'll start a fight with the menacing, cloaked appearance Batman always has, but once you start kicking ass, your rugged shoulders and manly nipples will be out there for your foes (and press) to admire! C'mon, you know that's awesome. And hey, if you want 'em on display all the time, you can just throw the cape back.

Also, the grayness of it kinda evokes the whole "moderately-sized steel wall" thing. And I thought, y' looked nice.
Well, don't tell me, boy! Show me!


Uh-huh. This looks really familiar to me for some reason... where have I seen this before? I know it'll come to me. Any last words while I try to shake a memory out of my battered noggin?
Finally, you're "Blockade" now because the costume makes ya look a little older, wiser, grizzled, and more experienced. Also, it sounds much more badass without the "boy." At least I think so. Please don't hurt me.
You did not just tell me what to do again! *grabs rebuilt Electric Sousasaxotimpanibone from passing Storm Boy and smashes it to bits* Balls. Now see what you made me do. *stews for a minute*

Oh! I just remembered! About the costume... this is almost exactly what I wore to Junior Prom! (And you don't want to know where Weight Wizard wanted me to put the boutonniere.)

Okay, judgment time: I like the idea of the peekaboo cape -- very clever. However, the extreme angle of the "truss" makes it a little too reminiscent of ladies' evening gowns for my tastes. And while it's a good design in general, there's not much in it that makes it stand out to me. (The orange side-patches on the legs remind me of my earlier designs from a couple of years ago... or was it twenty? Damn sliding timeline!) So I'm going to pass on it. Thanks for playin', Oak!

P.S. About the name change... it's so crazy it just might work. I'm still kind of attached to the whole "Boy" thing, though, especially with the Legion still going by "Boy" and "Lad" and "Kid" even while they're pre-registering their kids for private schools and setting up retirement accounts. What do you think, readers? Should I drop the "Boy" from my codename?


Kavonde said...

Yeah, y'know, until just now I didn't realize how evening gown-ish the upper half of that costume looked.

Eh. C'est la vie.

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...

Your name might be "Boy," but you look like all man to me.

Anonymous said...

Given your reaction to being told what to do, I'll have to say...
"Drop the Boy!!"

- BlackLamb

MaGnUs said...

Don't drop the boy. He might break his head... sorry about the pun, I can't help it sometimes.

But no, keep the Legion standard codename format, I hated those things like Apparition, Live Wire, Inferno... bleh!

Jeremy Rizza said...

Ed: The important thing is you put yourself out there, even knowing what a spanking you might be in for. That takes balls, my friend! *gives complicated Space Pirate salute*

Jan: *drawn-out exasperated sigh*

BlackLamb: Why, you--!! Just for that I'm going to keep-- oh! Reverse psychology!

MaGnUs: Yeah, you're right. Screw it. It was just a whim, anyhow.