Thursday, September 06, 2007

Extreme Blockadeover: Justin Garrett Blum

This next submission just materialized in the air right in front of me and hung there, floating, while I was in the middle of my morning ablutions. Tusker was so startled he dropped the scrub brush and threw himself back against the nearest wall. His big, dopey head whipped around. "Are we under attack?" he cried. I, of course, didn't even raise a bushy eyebrow. One of my sinewy arms shot out (The speed of a python, I have!) and grabbed it.

I sniffed at the envelope, paused, taking in the scent, and then I ran my nose all over it, inhaling the odor greedily with loud snorfling noises. I waved the letter at Tusker. "Magic," I said with a grim smile. "I'd recognize it anywhere."

"Plus it just appeared out of the blue and it was floating," Tusker pointed out, so of course I had to pummel him for making me look uncool. But I only slapped him around a little, because I'm always in a good mood when somebody sends me a costume design! This one is from Justin Garrett Blum, who starts out with some wholly unnecessary damage control:
Dear Blockade Boy,

Okay, before you view the image, I plead with you to bear with me just a minute. First of all, my apologies for the crappy scan and coloring job. I penciled the image pretty small and then to make it worse, I went over it with a fine-tip sharpie, which bled, so I lost some of the detail, and I couldn’t quite get the detail I wanted in any case, even in pencil. Also, I have a feeling you’re probably going to tear me a new asshole anyway, so I didn’t want to spend a whole night on it or anything. J

The one thing I wish I could go back and do over (but I’m too lazy to) is the face. I was attempting to give you sort of an ursine characteristic with the big, round beard, but I’m afraid that with the scale I was working at, I couldn’t pull it off. Also, I have no idea how to computer color somebody with so much hair. You came out looking sort of like Tygra from Thundercats. Not really bad, just not what I was really going for. But hopefully you get the idea.

Right then, apologies out of the way…

I really only had one goal with this design—and that was to keep it as simple as possible, but without sacrificing style. When I first started reading your blog over a year ago, one of the first posts I read was something you did about Doctor Strange’s kick ass robe. I remembered that—because I thought that robe was the bees knees, as well—so I knew going in that I wanted to give you something floor length and stylin’. At the same time, I wanted your outfit to be as stripped down as possible—literally. I mean, what’s the point of having all that body hair if you can’t show it off, right? With that in mind, I thought, “Let’s see, Blockade Boy is a pirate, and pirates are rough, but at the same time, he’s also a dandy.” I had to merge those two sensibilities somehow.

Then I hit upon it. The Romans. Kick ass mofos, no doubt, but also one of the most indulgent societies to ever exist. Then I was like, “What would a hard-core Roman look like if he were actually a gay fashion designer pirate from the far future?” And, well, this is what I came up with.

Here’s what I like about it: nobody’s going to mess with a dude dressed like this. You know why? Because if a person dresses like this, he’s got to have some serious balls—figuratively and literally.

Anyway, just keep an open mind. That’s all I ask. See, I even let one of your nipples peak out and everything!



Justin, don't worry about the technical quality of your artwork. As long as it gets the basic idea across, I'm cool with it. And that's also why I decided to allow folks to elaborate on their designs with their letters. I should be able to get the gist of what you're trying to sell me with some simple artwork and a paragraph or two. Okay... *breathes deeply* ...Let's take a look at this puppy!


I have just two words for you, Justin: Kick. Ass.

What I especially love about this design is the balance of contrasts. The huge theatrical cape is juxtaposed with the daintier briefs and accessories, and the flamboyance of the costume is set against an animalistic beard and hairstyle (and, of course, my brawny, furry bod). Well done, lad. This one's headed for the finals!


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...


Nate said...

I try to look away, but I can't

Anonymous said...

May I suggest a Cloak

I never go wrong with the cloak look

Anonymous said...

Striking! But then I'm a big proponent of spirals as a motif.

And circles of small triangles.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Jeremy just posted a sketch of Blockade Boy in Justin's design over on his LiveJournal, and it's a pretty close match for how I imagine I'd look in it.

Anonymous said...

And somewhere in the world, gyuss baaltar is sitting in the same position he was siting at 10 AM this morning, still transfixed by Blockade Boy's sheer virility.

Re: the Live Journal thing--that's fresh! I like what Jeremy did with that. The boy gets it.

MaGnUs said...

Damn, Justin's good.