Monday, August 27, 2007

This Is All Michael Moore's Fault, Somehow


Okay... in the preceding panel Slasher was looking out the back of his van at the Capital Building and a bright blue sky. Suddenly he's bathed in a red light and his goggles reflect a white flash.* Screw your dumb "plan", Slasher. I'm pretty sure the Russkies just nuked Washington and you're about to be burnt to a pretentious, badly-dressed, melodramatic crisp. What will your final words be?

"Demitrius... I know we've had our differences, but I want you to know that I've always thought you were... A FOOL!!!" *is immediately incinerated*

*Yeah, yeah, he's actually about to use -- HIS EYES!!! (What, just the one? Is this Slasher's idea of a sexy wink?) Anyway, you should all know by now that I never let the truth get in the way of one of my jokes.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, unless he's only planning to use...HIS EYE this time, I'm more inclined to think he's just watching some kid on a tour group who picked up a shiny broken bottle of hooch.

Yeah, who knew the Senate investigated littering offenses? It's like how nobody remembers that the Secret Service investigates counterfeiters.

So, wait. Did Tony build the Capitol building, too? And Slasher is going to use...HIS EYE to demolish it and discredit the poor drunken arms manufacturer? Very canny, Slasher. They'll never figure it out!

Bill S. said...

You could completely incapacitate Slasher with a liberal dose of itching powder.

Does Mimic know that Slasher stole his ruby-quartz goggles?

Anonymous said...

Michael Moore's fault, clearly, but surely Bill Clinton's penis played a significant role as well.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Anonymous: Nope, Slasher only uses his EYES!!! to construct amateur electronics. It's sad, really. Years of development, billions of rubles in technology, eight months recuperating in the Kremlin's secret hospital, and all Slasher does with those babies is solder stuff.

Bill S.: Heh. You'd think he'd want to put some little rubber thimbles on those things, like the professional money-counters use. Also, I'm giving you bonus points for mentioning the Mimic, the X-Men's very own Cousin Oliver.

Anonymous: Oh, that little rascal! It gets into everything!

Skeleton Munroe said...

That's actually a pretty good exit line. I'd like to go out on an insult.

Jeremy Rizza said...

And if you can't think of an insult in time, a bout of mocking laughter is almost as good.