Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Say Thee Neigh


Mother o' mercy! Demitrius, your teeth are quite simply horrific. Who were your parents, anyway? Did the English guy from "The Jeffersons" get it on with an Appaloosa? Or Liberty Belle?

But those hands... those delicate, fine-boned fingers, the sinuous movements they make... I believe Demitrius here is was born to be a hand model. (And he's instinctively protecting those lovelies with a pair of x-tra soft kid gloves.) It's just a shame he lived in the Time Before QVC* or else he could have gone legit instead of trying to hack it as a terrorist/psychic/party clown or whatever the hell he's supposed to be.

*Admittedly, the home shopping joints prefer people with beautiful miniature appendages, to make their rings and bracelets appear ginormous.


Anonymous said...

Oh, he tried the hand-model thing, but he kept trying to model everything from inside his mop of of hair, so they axed him. I have a copy of the rejection letter right here. "You're a fool," is basically the content.

Fortunately though, he went to terrorist/psychic/party clown night school with Slasher and Lucie. I gather the benefits packages are amazing.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Wow. What are the benefits, I wonder. Unlimited use of the tesseract van is definitely one.

Bill S. said...

how are his teeth doughy? Perhaps he's just eaten dough.

Jeremy Rizza said...

It's those cheap-ass Soviet Bloc dentists. Everything's made of papier-mache!