Thursday, September 20, 2007

Payback's a Vaguely European, Crabclaw-Tentacled Bitch

im41perceptiveprecognitions

The Golden Age simplicity of George Tuska's layouts is simultaneously annoying and charming. In this panel, for instance, Gerry Conway's word-a-day antagonists are scuffling in an abstract arrangement of plain brick walls atop a smooth, continuous plane. In other words, they've been somehow transported into the 1992 PC shooter, "Wolfenstein 3D." Blech. Well, at least they all have shadows now.

Demitirius missed a golden opportunity by not pimp-slapping Slasher with one of his crabclaws. That would've been sweet. "Talk to my crabclaw hand, 'cause the boobs on my forehead don't understand!" But no. And it's that sort of mediocrity that kept Demitrius out of the big leagues. They're all laughing at you, Demitrius. All the super-villain freaks are laughing at you. Even Arnim Zola! Even the Headmen!

6 comments:

Bill S. said...

It does look a bit like they've taken up residence in a de Chirico painting, doesn't it? Maybe Tuska was feeling particularly metaphysical that day.

I heart the Headmen.

Anonymous said...

But...would it hurt Demetrius that much to step back a few paces? As it stands, it looks like a normal-sized Demmie tweaked his buddies nose, sending him flying over poor Tony, horking in his helmet. Again.

"Whitepants, to my side! I need you!!"

Crap. "No more laughter." Oh, well. I really do think these have to be comments snuck in by editorial. It's just too self-aware to be Conway.

(And he wasn't laughing at your precognitive precognitions, he was laughing at your dancing around the backs of panels in your jumpsuit and whining instead of actually trying to accomplish something. And probably the lobsterclaw boobs, because that's some funny stuff. Big difference, kid.)

Blockade Boy said...

Bill S.: A de Chirico painting--! That's the awesomely cool highbrow reference I wanted to make, but was too geeky to know.

Anonymous: Say, where is Whitepants? He coulda been the new Bucky!

Bill S. said...

Hey, I'm here to help, buddy. I would have never even seen it if you hadn't brought up the bizarre backgrounds in the first place.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

What's with Iron Man kneeling like that?

MaGnUs said...

Yeah, let's kill nazis!!! WOLFENSTEIN!!!