Gender Reassignment Challenge: Dazzler to Sundog

With the Gender Reassignment Challenge, I take a reasonably feminine costume and reimagine it for a male version of the character. This week I chose everyone's favorite 80's Disco Queen... the Dazzler! The Dazzler's comic outlived Disco -- by quite a few years, actually -- and her formerly fabulous sequined togs had to be dropped in favor of something more "rad." In between the two costumes was a long stretch where she just wore plain clothes... assuming you consider ankle warmers and off-the-shoulder sweatshirt-dresses "plain."

My He-Dazzler (and no, Scipio, I refuse to call him that) is no Disco King. As amusing as that might be, I figure Marvel would have positioned a male Dazzler (Ellison Blaire!) as a rocker. Sure, he'd be one of those ill-defined fictional rockers favored by out-of-touch, aging Baby Boomers in the early 80's. You know the type I mean -- he'd front an allegedly "Punk Rock" band, but his attire would be mostly Glam, Funk, and Alice Cooper/KISS face-paintin' metal. But he'd wear bracelets with spikes on them! Certainly that would be "Punk," right, you granola-chugging, social-security-gobbling dinosaurs?

Here's Dazzler in her original outfit:

And here's the "edgy" "hard core" "bad-ass" version... Sundog!

Why "Sundog?" Because "Dazzler" just isn't ROCK 'N' ROLL!!! Also, it gives me the excuse to change Dazzler's goofy facepaint butterfly into something more like Peter Criss (or Eric Carr) might wear. I changed the one-piece into a tailored vest and slacks with no shirt. It's very Glam Rock. And/or Chippendales. The disco ball pendant is now a sun pendant, and the rollerskate boots are now stylized boots with teeth on the bottom. And he has Ozzy Osbourne's hair. Now, this is a guy who might debut in a gender-reversed "X-Men" comic, at a rock concert attended by She-clops, Wolverina, and Colossess.

Six issues before her book's cancellation, Dazzler got a snappier, more superhero-y costume, with assymetry gone berserk and, apparently, Supergirl's old headband.

Sundog's version would reflect, and maybe even foretell, metal trends of the 80's... and 90's!

The headband is a bandana, worn low over the eyes, a la Male Pattern Baldness-Era Axel Rose. Not that Sundog has any such problem, natch. The Aztec-style sun symbol from his pendant is now writ large on his chest. And on one of his calves, for reasons unknown even to myself. Except Dazzler did it. Most importantly, the assymetrically exposed skin is now hankerchiefs, and plenty of 'em! That's a very 80's rock thing to do. Hey, it was either that or Swatches. And Swatches were waning in popularity at that point. I think. Aw, what the hell do I know, I live in a glorious future paradise that you primitive losers can't even begin to comprehend! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm lashing out again. It's just that Weight Wizard and I had another fight, and I think he's broken up with me because he faked his own death again. That's always a warning sign, right? Anyway, enjoy the costumes!

Previous Gender Reassignment Challenges:

• Saturn Girl
• Scarlet Witch
• Looker (and a slight revision)
• Storm
• Marvel Girl
• Black Canary
• Phantom Lady
• Snowbird

Next week: Moral Realignment Challenge: Wonder Girl and Mammoth!

Legion Of Substitute Costumes: Stone Boy

Like Polar Boy, Legion rejectee Stone Boy had complete control over his powers. Unlike Polar Boy, Stone Boy's power was almost completely useless. Except for providing a decoy target for really stupid armies.

"Seed storehouse"?! It's called a sperm bank you bumpkin! Grow the hell up already! Christ. But my rage, it's distracing me from the matter at hand: Stone Boy's costume. Stone Boy's horrendously ugly costume. Not that I blame Stone Boy himself, mind you. I figure his mom made it for him.

Y'see, Stone Mom was about to throw out that bolt of orange spandex she'd found in a dumpster behind the fabric store, when suddenly she got an idea! Also, check out paunchy Stone Dad in the background. (Special guest star: Gordon Jump!) So by the looks of things, not only will Stone Boy never be admitted to the Legion of Super-Heroes, he's also going to go bald one day. Glad I'm not him. *casually runs a hand through my lush, beautiful hair*

But don't think I'm an unsympathetic bastard! Naw, I'm a sympathetic bastard! I came up with a more handsome look for the guy, and a better idea on how he can use his powers. See, all he needs to do is go to the top of a steep slope, wait for a bad guy to show up, crouch into a ball, turn into stone, and VOILA!

I gave him some padded body armor for when he's not using his "will-force" to turn himself to stone (hey, I can do that too, sort of) and I used the shape of the pads to design a logo for him. It's a stylized "S" and "B." Because your old Earth alphabet looks so much better than Interlac. The cropped hair and stubble is a nice tough look for him, and along with his deliciously excessive body hair, it provides a textural contrast with the armor. Which is why I left so many holes in it. What?! He can turn to stone; what the hell would he need body armor for? Oh, now I'm confused. What was I talking about?

Tomorrow: Legion Of Substitute Costumes: The Mess!

Unisex Hair Salon... OF DEATH!

"Now let's even up those bangs!" the stylist shrieked, his arms flailing wildly.

Today's subject was chosen in honor of the scary-thin fifty-something stylist who kept insisting my hair was filthy in spite of the fact that I'd washed it mere hours earlier. The woman was obviously in her late middle-age but she dressed like one of the Duff sisters, and while she rinsed my hair she kept exclaiming, "Yucky!" Okay, bitch, first off? I ain't paying you for "yucky." And secondly? After you pull that kind of crap? Then HELL NO, I'm not going to buy any Paul Mitchell shampoo from you.

So here's a startling doppelganger of the stylist I encountered yesterday: forgotten Batman villain, the Dodo Man (from Batman #303, September 1978). The Dodo Man is a thief who specializes in taxidermied dodo birds and dodo bird-related items. It's unclear in this story whether the Dodo Man normally looks like this or whether it's his fiendish disguise to blend into one of the museum's exhibits (When Peter Boyle Ruled The Earth). However, the fact that his idea of "blending in" consisted of hiding under a blanket makes me think that YES, the Dodo Man really is a remarkably toned nonagenarian with a bad dye job. Still, the fight scene lasts all of one-and-a-third pages. Because he's fighting Batman.

I think what we can learn from the Dodo Man is that even with a boring brown unitard, you can still make a memorable impession by styling your hair in a spectacularly age-inappropriate manner. Nice save, Dodo Man!